THE DECEPTIVE MIND
This is purely a work of fiction and is not intended for any one dead or alive. Although it has been written in autobiographical style this is no way related to my experiences or a memoir. Since the content is suited for adult, readers discretion is advised
I knew it was her. I could make out the voice of Gina since I have been used to hers from so many years. Her anxiety makes her stand apart from the crowd; she is so used to repeatedly say Hello until someone speaks up. Though I didn’t intentionally give a pause on the phone but somehow I was unable to speak. Probably because of the beer, but I took a deep breath and without any fret I said “Hi Sweetie”
Before I could hear her response, Vino snatched the receiver from me and was so furious and upset for what I had done.
“I told you to stay away from them or else you will jeopardize the situation. Look at you, you are drunk and your senses are half asleep, what will you talk to them except to prove yourself to be a clown. You only degrade yourself by doing this. “
When I recovered my senses he had finished delivering his warning and the phone was already hung. Although I respected his solicitation I wasn’t happy for what he had been driving me to.
“Don’t think too hard man, it’s just a phone call and it is not like I am giving away my life as freebies.”
“Bro, I want you to win but for that you have to mend your ways and trust me it will not work the way you think”
This simple yet powerful assurance made a deep impact in me and I resolved to stay away from my sweetie for some time.
My overall experience of having beer for the first time was mostly exciting but I felt I missed a good company while drinking as Vino gets into an isolated mood and a relapse of energy. Drinking was an exception that I wanted to have it with Mohan, Suresh, Kiran and Lucky instead of Vino.
Vino dropped me at the college and left for the day. Being fearful of getting caught I avoided going home and took a walk to our community park that was few lanes away from my house. It was already dark and there were only couple of evening walkers and the seats were all empty. As it had rained in the evening the ground was wet and seats empty; the place was faintly lit by few street lights. The place looked different under the influence of alcohol. The ground was like a meadow and tall trees stood like a big wall with a world hidden behind them. As if something wonderful was on the other side of those large trees waiting for me to discover. The colorful blooms in the garden and their fragrance were mesmerizing. The flowers were wet with droplets and were fresh and tender. While I was engrossed in the place I heard a voice from behind
“Civa, why are you putting your cheeks to those flowers? They make you itch. Are you okay?”
“Yes Civa!, are you okay? You called me this evening but didn’t speak and now you are in this stupid place in some stupid position. Is anything wrong? Did you get your grades? Are your folks getting cranky about it?”
“You are so concerned Gina, that’s why I keep coming to you”
“That is fine but is there anything wrong, you look so pale, tell me or I will go and tell your grandpa”
Women always find pleasure to feign some trouble on us and amuse when we get really scared. The best way to avoid any question is to start flattery of them and it works most of the times.
“Gina you look gorgeous today, is there anything special?”
“Oh yeah I had been on a date with one of your college guys”
My face was red especially my ears change the color in no time and make my emotions conspicuous. It could be jealousy or disappointment that brought me into that situation. I had always been bold in executing my ideas and taking risks in getting things done but I couldn’t comprehend why laxity and over confidence had crept in me in Gina’s case. But what the heck I was worried about, how paradoxical that I never tried for her and was going after Prakriti yet upset about her dating with someone else. It was not greed after all and there must a strong reason for my fears. Deep down my heart I wanted to be with both of them but I knew that I had to let go of one but not just yet and not sure which one.
Gina was next to me glowing under the street light with her shiny cheeks blushing and a smile with her lips stretched from ear to ear. She was a full-grown lady but just short of being buxom. She was wearing a T with a glittering fairy printed on it and hugging her body but not too tight. A long white skirt was wrapped around her and for the first time I felt she wasn’t looking like a college kid anymore. If she was in a business suit then she must have looked like a working woman. Girls! They grow so fast and men look like boys during the transition period.
She gave me an elbow push and said “I was just joking but why are you so serious?”
As always a nonchalant, teasing and naive girl never shedding her character took me by surprise with her taunt. My expression changed instantly from a simple smile to blush. I looked closely and saw her eyes glittering by the light falling on her. Without a word I spread my hands around her waist and pulled her closer while deeply gazing her eyes and hugged her. In spite of my outburst of my emotions I tried to be gentle and didn’t crush her. She was in no less ecstasy as she had wrapped her hand around me and held me tight. I brushed my lips on her neck and slowly rolled them over hers. It was such a passionate kiss and she was equally endearing and yearning like I was. Those lovely moments lasted for God knows how many minutes but we came out of that bliss gradually.
I saw in her eyes a reverence for me and an admiration born out of a long-lasting acquaintance. I reached a point where I was deeply sunk into a passionate relationship with both the women and an idea of separation with anyone made me intolerable. It had also become that I should safely guard three relations from being known to each other, the third being Vino. Although I respected Vino’s advice it wasn’t practical for me to follow. So if I had to keep everyone happy the best I could do was to keep everyone separated and live three different lives. It is not fun to camouflage our identity always and it is about time for the mask to fall off and people know my true identity. Till then I shall continue my journey along with the drift.